I wrote a post for my little men in 2014; that inspired this — a post for my daughter.
There are days that I look at our world in all of it’s glories and all of it’s gore and I think, this world of ours desperately needs women — great women. Not instead of or because of men… but along with great men. We need women who will speak words of life, unveil beauty and nourish hearts when darkness threatens to starve our people of truth and love. I know women like this. And I want to see that continue. And I think most of us with daughters would say we don’t really want to raise “nice girls,” we want to raise beautiful, wise, world-changing women. As a parent, whenever it is possible, I hope to equip my daughter with dependable truth so that she might do this well. And with that hope for so many of us, I offer these words…
7 Things I want my daughter to know:
- I love you. Entirely. There is nothing ever that could add to or subtract from the truth that I love you, my little beauty. My very breath is stolen away with the happy fact that I get to be your mom.
- Love lavishly — God first and people second. Out of order and your love will never be as great. God is love and we were made to receive it, offer it, long for it, and be satisfied in it. People often need reminding of who they are in all of their value. Remind them. Love well and you will point to life that is lasting.
- You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Never question this. Though our world often fails to promote it, beauty is so much bigger than the physical appeal people perceive. A beautiful woman has the ability to point towards life and redemption to a world with broken people marred by the ugliness of sin. And the less time you spend looking inward, the more time you have to look out at the people around you, and in considering others you become more beautiful in a lasting way.
- Words are Powerful. They matter greatly. Your words overflow from what is in your heart, so fill it up with what you want to pour out of you. I often ask myself this, “was I a life-giver or a life-taker today?” and my words more often than not were a large contributor of the answer. And know this, people often use words to wage war on hearts — remember that God alone has the informed authority to define you. His opinion really is supreme.
- Handle Men Well. Men in all of their strength are wonderfully magnificent because they reflect something about their heavenly father in ways complementary to the way you do. Protect them by preserving their hearts for the one they were made for. It is a legitimate longing that we yearn to reveal beauty because we yearn to be known — just as God is. Just know that offering beauty out of the context it was meant for will steal life rather than point to it. Beauty beckons strength, and so many will ask for it in ways they were never meant to take hold of. Remember that intimacy, whether through a kiss or a conversation is earned; and if you were worthy of dying for, you are worthy of the kind of pursuit that protects, honors and fights for. This will be hard. It will be worth it.
- Your character is more important than your happiness. If we weren’t eternal, I’d tell you to do whatever makes you happy — and that is how much of our world works. But since this life is the blink of an eye intro before the real deal; I want you to be strong more than I want you to be comfortable. I want you to be wise more than I want you to be liked. I want you to pursue what’s best more than I want you to accept what’s easy or convenient. So fix your eyes on the unseen and eternal — this will change everything about what you need to be happy.
- We have an enemy who steals, kills and destroys. He fights ferociously, so you should be prepared to do the same. But drawing swords against one who steals hope might mean you love unlovable people; you cut down lies when you proclaim what is true, you stave off the destroyer when you defend the cause of the weak. The best way you can protect yourself from his lies is to be well acquainted with the truth. Be diligent, for the war has already been won.
For my Mila Claire, “diligent light,” and the delight of my heart. I love you.
“I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” — Ephesians 1:18-19