Life is crazy because people are crazy. I mean seriously, incalculably, unpredictably, straight crazy. And not always in a bad way, but in a “wow, that just happened” kind of way.
To support this perspective I’ll add that a few years ago we woke up one morning to find tire tracks through our front yard – we live on a corner lot; so it appeared that someone decided they didn’t want to take the time to stay on the street, but instead drove through our yard, just missing our tree and the stop sign on the corner. That morning in our baffled and bewildered frustration we coined the phrase “spikes.”
After checking out the aforementioned tire tracks, we sat on our bar stools looking out our front window and talking about how we would catch the crazy person who decided this was a good idea. “I’m installing spikes; and with the press of a button they’ll come up out of the ground and bust some tires;” in that moment I thought I had married Einstein. Total brilliance.
Spikes – You’ve seen them. Cops throw them down on the road in an effort to end a high speed chase; and usually in the movies when a (usually super cool) car runs over them it sends them shrieking, skidding and rolling to a stop where everyone jumps out miraculously unscathed and continues the flight. You get the picture. So when the light turns green and 3 more people turn left in front of us, you can confidently bet in whatever volume our gut commanded, we say it; “Ugh… spikes!” We can even say it at the same time without any preceding conversation… that’s love baby. Don’t get me wrong, we don’t want anybody hurt, I just want the offender to suddenly have all 4 tires burst, skid to a stop and come out unscathed vowing never to run a red light ever again. Is that too much to ask?! Either I’ve just confirmed my own crazy status, or you are “amening” me right now.
I know what you’re thinking – we need major work on the subject of grace, right? Probably true, we’ll work on that – but I figured that instead of actually inventing manufacturing and selling spikes, we’ll just have a good laugh together about the silly little “first world annoyances” we all deal with (thanks for coining the phrase Facebook discussion friends!).
So here it is; the things you, your friends and neighbors have determined “spike worthy.” Most of these I got a kick out of reading on Facebook.
And the awards go to…
- “People not taking their grocery carts to the cart return.” This one came up several times peeps.
- “Dirty dishes hanging out in the sink rather than being placed in the dishwasher.” I loved the next line. “Except for you honey! I’m talking about everyone else!” This one also was rather popular.
- “Bad grammar, both spoken and written;” wait for it… “Oops, I mean, poor grammar…” – this one was my favorite.
- “People who drive on the left side of the interstate… slowly.” Let’s say it together friends… “spikes.”
- “Couples who give each other back rubs in church.” True, because if they are in your line of sight, you are forced to endure it until the sermon is over.
- “People who forget to turn off their blinker when driving. Except when it’s me and I’m totally humbled.” I guess this was written by the ONE person who has occasional crazy moments.
- “Family members who yell at you from the other side of the house, either looking for you or attempting to have a long distance conversation.” I love this because it reminds me of my grandparents.
- “Stay at Home Mom’s (SAHM) biggest pet peeve: ‘What do you DO all day?’” AHHHHHH! Triple spikes.
- “When someone puts a pop can back in the fridge – come on, no one ever goes back to drink it!” Amen, sister. Amen.
- “When your computer is not hooked up to a printer, even though your husband is a computer genius…” High-5 to my sister in law. I might as well have written this myself. Oh Brandon and Brett! We love you so I guess we can’t “spike” you.
Whew! Who are these crazy unreasonable people? It’s a good thing those of us contributing are completely normal and without any annoying behaviors whatsoever. Just an FYI, there were about 100 car/driving related pet peeves – I think we can confidently conclude “crazy” comes out on the road. And an honorable mention must go to the several posts regarding the way the toilet roll paper ought to hang.
I realize this is deeply eternal stuff, but don’t worry, next week I’ll be attending the leadership summit and totally make up for it. Oh, and VERY soon, the blog highlighting a VERY wise person is also coming… I promise.