Mother’s Day is in 4 days. I thought about saying “you’re welcome” to the Dads reading this who are last-minuting this holiday, but then I realized this is still pretty early for some of you. If it’s not an hour out, my husband has zero stress about gifting. Largely speaking, we don’t really do gifts in our house much (at least the grown-ups), because of the 5 love languages, gifts is at the bottom for us both. Which is perhaps fortunate that we’re at least on the same page. Don’t get me wrong, we will celebrate — I will CERTAINLY NOT be cooking. But if I can gift you anything, it will have to be this. A few years ago I wrote a letter to my boys, and then one to my girl, and so today, in light of the approaching holiday, I wanted to write one to you Moms.
Sweet friend with babes, I am rooting for you. There’s no magical book that fully prepares any of us for what you are encountering as a mom. But there are some things that might help to know, some things to cling to and allow to sharpen us. Some of this marathon is HILARITY embodied, but all of it takes some grit. So here’s a few anchors that really matter to me.
7 Anchors For Mom Life
- You are a daughter of the King. He delights in you. You are allowed to run to Him, and access the gifts that he offers. Let’s not miss this! Before you are a mom, you are His. Before any other assignment can wriggle into the foundation of your identity, this matters first — because it is unchanging. And dang it, lots of stuff changes. Like a lot.
- Your work is eternally significant. If you are raising a human, be it your biological reproduction or as a bonus parent; people last forever, so your work will ripple into forever. Dignify it for what it is, and turn loose of what it isn’t. Remember that just as you hold the child God gave you, your Father holds you. You are shaping loves, fashioning trust, exemplifying character; and pointing to life. Keep pointing.
- You are still being formed. There are so many things I would say to my younger self about this whole mom thing. Because I was still being formed. And I still am. We are not perfect humans. And this is not something we should hide behind as an excuse for our failures, but something we should understand as we offer our own hearts grace to become more and more the women God made us to be — even as we open ourselves up to training. There is only One who can engage our children perfectly… so let’s point to Him.
- Your heart is really important — nurture it. Rest well dear friend. Just do it. The God who delights in you does not ask you to max your give without ultimately pouring goodness and beauty back in. His give is better than ours. So let’s turn our hearts to the one who promises strength and life at it’s fullest measure. I want to age out of this life with a heart shaped by the touch of the Master’s hand. I think that starts with going to Him regularly to shape and form and protect.
- Your pace is going to look different than other moms. The woman raising her kids beside you might sharpen your mom-game, but it sure won’t be by comparing for the sake of valuation. We’re made for different races, different stories… so let’s celebrate and glory in the wonder of that truth and reject the invitation to run someone else’s race or undercut our own. There is an author who delights in what he is writing into the fabric of your story.
- You need people. We were never meant to be alone. Our assignments are too big, and this race too long for us to bear up under it without someone coming alongside and raising your arms from time to time. Finding people is hard. It is worth it.
In my whole life, I have never been so simultaneously exhausted and filled to overflowing from the effort of raising these eternal humans. You get me on this. Maybe there is something you would tell your younger self, or something you find critically relevant as you engage in this assignment — name it. One thing I noticed during the mom interviews preceding the Firmly Planted Study, was that reflection was good. So let’s name our anchors and revel in the eternal humans in our homes.